Reckless Abandon

Joel loves life. He loves playing. He loves eating. He loves exploring. He loves finding new things. He loves recognizing familiar things. He loves people. He just loves life. (Ok, he doesn't like going to sleep...but I do think he loves sleeping.) I love watching him live this way. If you set him on the ground, he doesn't sit still for more than a few seconds. He's off to the races to find the closest toy, the nearest magazine he can destroy or the forbidden cord we've left sticking out somewhere. And he doesn't want to be confined. He's perfectly happy in a room....until you shut the door. It's like he immediately knows that he's trapped....not that he necessarily wants to leave, but he knows that he can't if he decided he wanted to. He lives with a reckless abandon to experience every moment to the fullest. As his mother, it is definitely exhausting and yet, there is just something fascinating about watching him live with such abandon.

When do we lose that? When we do grow out of it? Obviously there is a point that we must learn to limit our risks or no one would survive over the age of 5, but when does that happen?
Do we fall one too many times? Are we hurt just one time too many? I don't know...but I wonder. Obviously, there are some boundaries that must be tested and then the line is drawn. We learn that if something is hot, not to touch it or it will burn our hand. But at the same time, how many lines we do draw around ourselves that keep us from living life to the fullest?

Watching Joel, I think he knows that we are going to protect him. When he crawls off the table at the doctor's office reaching for a toy, I am there to catch him. He knows that David or I will be there to make sure that he doesn't hurt himself. I think that's the reason he can live with so much reckless abandon....he trusts us completely to take care of him. He believes that we will be there to protect him so he just plows on, full steam ahead.

I think that is how God wants me to trust him. He has set a life before me and He is longing for me to stop questioning, stop looking around to make sure everything is safe, and just live. To trust Him with my everything and know that He has me in His arms, that He wants nothing but the best for me.

Now, I know that this life is not always hunky-dory. Even Joel has a small bruise on his forehead to prove that. (He's still learning to gauge just how close he has to be before he can pull himself up on the chair, the cube, the door facing, whatever's close by....) I know that there are times of learning in my life...times when I know God is watching, but He's letting me learn a few things on my own. And that's such an important time of growth. At the same time, in times of learning and times of action, that I know He is longing for me to step out and try something new...push myself to the next limit....live my life with same reckless abandon as my precious 8.5 month old, knowing that His arms will not let me fall too far or too hard.

Ahhh...the lessons of a child...