Joel loves life. He loves playing. He loves eating. He loves exploring. He loves finding new things. He loves recognizing familiar things. He loves people. He just loves life. (Ok, he doesn't like going to sleep...but I do think he loves sleeping.) I love watching him live this way. If you set him on the ground, he doesn't sit still for more than a few seconds. He's off to the races to find the closest toy, the nearest magazine he can destroy or the forbidden cord we've left sticking out somewhere. And he doesn't want to be confined. He's perfectly happy in a room....until you shut the door. It's like he immediately knows that he's trapped....not that he necessarily wants to leave, but he knows that he can't if he decided he wanted to. He lives with a reckless abandon to experience every moment to the fullest. As his mother, it is definitely exhausting and yet, there is just something fascinating about watching him live with such abandon.
When do we lose that? When we do grow out of it? Obviously there is a point that we must learn to limit our risks or no one would survive over the age of 5, but when does that happen?
Do we fall one too many times? Are we hurt just one time too many? I don't know...but I wonder. Obviously, there are some boundaries that must be tested and then the line is drawn. We learn that if something is hot, not to touch it or it will burn our hand. But at the same time, how many lines we do draw around ourselves that keep us from living life to the fullest?
Watching Joel, I think he knows that we are going to protect him. When he crawls off the table at the doctor's office reaching for a toy, I am there to catch him. He knows that David or I will be there to make sure that he doesn't hurt himself. I think that's the reason he can live with so much reckless abandon....he trusts us completely to take care of him. He believes that we will be there to protect him so he just plows on, full steam ahead.
I think that is how God wants me to trust him. He has set a life before me and He is longing for me to stop questioning, stop looking around to make sure everything is safe, and just live. To trust Him with my everything and know that He has me in His arms, that He wants nothing but the best for me.
Now, I know that this life is not always hunky-dory. Even Joel has a small bruise on his forehead to prove that. (He's still learning to gauge just how close he has to be before he can pull himself up on the chair, the cube, the door facing, whatever's close by....) I know that there are times of learning in my life...times when I know God is watching, but He's letting me learn a few things on my own. And that's such an important time of growth. At the same time, in times of learning and times of action, that I know He is longing for me to step out and try something new...push myself to the next limit....live my life with same reckless abandon as my precious 8.5 month old, knowing that His arms will not let me fall too far or too hard.
Ahhh...the lessons of a child...
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year!
I can't believe it's 2008. You know what they say....time flies when you are having fun. It's been a while since I posted, and I have vowed that I will be more diligent in posting this year. I'm not promising much, but my goal is to post at least once a month. We'll see how that goes....
Joel is changing as fast as ever. He started crawling in mid-December and now he's pulling up everywhere. He hasn't gotten brave enough to stand on his own yet, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time. He's still battling an upper respiratory infection that he's had since Christmas, but I think we are on the homestretch now. The worst part is that our poor little man has to endure breathing treatments three times a day. It's not fun for him or for us, but they really do help so much.
We had a great Christmas. Joel and I were in Texas for several weeks and loved seeing so many of our friends and family. David joined us about halfway through our stay and boy were we happy to see him. Joel's first Christmas was really amazing minus being sick. He loved the paper and the shiny bows, and we were all completely blessed by the presents we received.
Now, we are back in California and back to work. Life is slowly becoming normal again with routines and responsibilities but I hope that 2008 is anything but mundane. Life was meant to be lived not survived and that's my resolution for 2008....not to just survive 2008 but to really live it.
Blessings to you and yours in this new year!
I can't believe it's 2008. You know what they say....time flies when you are having fun. It's been a while since I posted, and I have vowed that I will be more diligent in posting this year. I'm not promising much, but my goal is to post at least once a month. We'll see how that goes....
Joel is changing as fast as ever. He started crawling in mid-December and now he's pulling up everywhere. He hasn't gotten brave enough to stand on his own yet, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time. He's still battling an upper respiratory infection that he's had since Christmas, but I think we are on the homestretch now. The worst part is that our poor little man has to endure breathing treatments three times a day. It's not fun for him or for us, but they really do help so much.
We had a great Christmas. Joel and I were in Texas for several weeks and loved seeing so many of our friends and family. David joined us about halfway through our stay and boy were we happy to see him. Joel's first Christmas was really amazing minus being sick. He loved the paper and the shiny bows, and we were all completely blessed by the presents we received.
Now, we are back in California and back to work. Life is slowly becoming normal again with routines and responsibilities but I hope that 2008 is anything but mundane. Life was meant to be lived not survived and that's my resolution for 2008....not to just survive 2008 but to really live it.
Blessings to you and yours in this new year!
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